not it

Most “websites for women” (EYEROLL) are full of headlines like this:

it-girl-headline2

Or this:

it-girl-headline1

The “it” girl species (Homo itgirlius) is always well-dressed, always on the cutting edge. Fashionable, flawlessly made up, “effortlessly” dressed, minimalist rose gold jewelry, blond-streaked hair gently tousled or piled in a bun on top of her head. (Her Instagram is amazing.) For a small fee, you too can dress like the ‘it’ girl (Alexa Chung, apparently the “Man Repeller” woman, maybe the Olsen twins?). On the “it” girl’s thin frame, ugly things like frumpy trousers and burlap sacks look sexy (especially when styled with the requisite 4-inch heels). Oh yeah, she’s usually white too.

For a while my eyes turned all swirly and hypnotized–I too wanted to look like an “it” girl. What colors are in? What length of skirt is hip? Where can I find affordable high-rise cropped flared jeans in the right wash? How can I wear a romper without flashing everyone? And then failure and exhaustion set in. Trying to be an “it” girl, much like trying to be popular in junior high, is TOO MUCH WORK (and ultimately impossible without changing, like, who I am). Expensive, tiring, just not me. And “it” girls all kind of look the same.

So many "it" girl lewkz on stock photo sites. Who knew?
all via free stock photo sites

I’m not dissing all fashion bloggers by any means. I LIKE fashion bloggers if they have their own style, some personality behind it (like Midge at Modern Girl Blitz). If you change too much with the trends, who are you really? Who are you without them? Do you have any creativity of your own?

I want to dress for ME. Maybe drawing inspo from trends…but not letting them dictate my wardrobe. From Eleanor & Park:

she-looked-like-art

I think confidence, being happy with yourself, not needing the fashion approval of others–THOSE are even better than being an “it” girl. The trade-off is less immediate shallow gratification, but it’s a lot less fleeting. ❤

Updated 6/20: Awesome quote from actress Constance Wu on Vulture about this (well, acting rather than fashion, but still relevant):

Hollywood likes their girls to feel like, Oh, I discovered her in a pizza parlor. Fresh plucked. New. Still sweet. Not battle-tested and wise and smart and strong. There’s an “It” girl every year because there’s a slot that needs to be filled, and this girl gets all the parts, and she gets them because she is so new and she’s having her moment now. But an “It” moment only lasts X amount of time. Some of them are able to transition into leading-lady status like Charlize or Angelina. But how many “It” girls haven’t been able to do that? And why is the “It” girl even a thing?…The “It” girl is a very fucked-up idea when you think about it.

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fave cannes lewkz

cannes 2016 fashion outfits

all photos via vogue uk

There was a LOT of black and boring stuff, so obviously I rooted through til I found the pink yellow puke amazingness (even though I only know who like 3 of these people are).

um that multicolor strapless number (by Naeem Khan)! I AM IN AWE. and Vanessa Paradis’s flamingo pink heels and menswear. I know Riley Keough’s vomit-and-magenta Gucci dress is gonna be a FASHION DON’T but i love it. Daring colors plus ruffles and a ’90s feel, amirite?

ahhh. pastel candy monster temporarily satiated.

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designer crush: christopher kane

christopher kane

So in the ongoing Tavi Worship saga (hey, Tavi was obsessed with Rei Kawakubo of Comme Des Garçons; a little fangirling never hurt nobody, right? RIGHT SWIMFAN? ahem), I remembered she’d mentioned Christopher Kane, so today when Net a Porter’s EDIT magazine had an interview with him, I took note. Turns out HE’S RAD:

The designer describes himself as a feminist, the result of growing up in Motherwell, Scotland, surrounded by an extended family of strong, hard-working women. “I’ve always felt more comfortable around women,” he laughs. “I’m scared of them but I love them; they’re a force to be reckoned with and they shouldn’t be doubted.”

Amen. Also this:

Everyone wants to wear great clothes – we’re all human, we’re all vain and that’s ok.

Thanks dood. Um AND HE’S ONLY 33. And surprisingly deep (although I hate that “fashion designer” would imply “shallow.” Bad Holly):

Created in the wake of his mother’s death last year, SS16’s manic mix of color, cracked paint, disheveled knits and shard embroidery referenced the ideas of being an outsider, art therapy, mental health, and of something
or someone destroyed and pieced back together.

Exampluhs:

christopher kane 2016 runway lewkz

He’s also adorably close with his sister and business partner, Tammy:

Continue reading “designer crush: christopher kane”

~*~fall 2016 runway fash~*~

(please enjoy with a large dose of Not Taking Seriously Juice™)

SOOOooOoOoO many people are all, “HOLLY OMG whaddya think of fall 2016 runway lewkz PLEASE TELL MEEE” and I’m turrd of repeating myself slash just a turd, so here are some of my faves:

kenzo fall 2016 runway lewkz

I hate to spoil things SPOILER ALERT! but fall 2016 is all about tiger stripes, animal print, etc. etc. AS IF this was remotely revolutionary. Animal print has only been “IN” since the dawn of time. Adam, Eve, and Lisa Frank, amirite?

isabel marant runway fall 2016

Here are some more zebra lewkz. I want those pants. Also I am hella flattered that my bae Izzy liked my new Docs so much she put them on all her models.

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olympia le-tan fall 2016 runway

I have never heard of this person but I am LIVING for these dots, pastel pink, and the fun runway (FUNWAY?!) background. Also Olly straight up stole the different-color-socks idea from Tavi circa like 2008. Did I mention I’ve been reading Tavi’s entire blog from the VERRY BEGINNINGGGG? It’s only the entire inspiration for this entire post and I am loving it in its entirety.

preen-by-thornton-bregazzi-fall-2016

No idea who/what Preen by Thornton Bregazzi is, but pink sequins AND a long fluffy peach coat? YES PLEEZ.

saint laurent fall 2016 runway

Saint Laurent is me if I were rich and best friends with a snow globe filled with glitter and also the ’90s PLUS had no fear of flashing the whole world when I sat down because DAMN those mini dresses are mini! Am seriously considering wearing bike shorts under tunics/dresses all summer long even though that is like the epitome of uncoolness.

chanel fall 2016 runway

Jake says I “would like Chanel” or Scream Queens or both but we’ll have to settle for this collage. Apparently Karl Lagerfeld is the most powerful man in the world/god himself etc. so he made his runway look like an airport. Or something? I have no idea but I like the fishbelly pink look of #3 and the bright colors in #1 and #4. Rich Lady in the Security Line, aka #5, I could take or leave, but her sunglasses-esque blue eyeshadow is nice.

akris fall 2016 runway

Never heard of Akris either but remember what I said about animal print/leopard spots/tiger stripes? PROOF! Also that hooded cape/coat in #6 is the most badass Trinity-from-the-Matrix-goes-on-a-safari thing I’ve ever seen. Aaaand now I need tall orange boots. Curse you, Willie Akris (or whoever you are)!

Obvi I won’t be BUYING any o’ this BUT I’m hoping to go back to thrifting a lot. Revisiting Tavi’s blog makes me want to layer lots, mismatch prints/patterns, find vintage skirts on Etsy, and generally not give an eff. Also wear colorful socks with sandals. Easy to do when you’re 13 and 4’11” and freakishly elvin-cute, less so when you’re 32, but we’ll see…

All photos from vogue.com

Pitch Perfect and attachment theory

I love Pitch Perfect. It has plenty of problems with race. But it also has a cast full of talented, awesome women (Rebel Wilson, pre-Super Fun Night…those were the days), a female writer, and a female producer. And Beca (Anna Kendrick), its main character, has a really refreshing take on relationships.

pitch-perfect-anna-kendrick

attached-bookLet’s back up. Have you read the book Attached (subtitle: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find — And Keep — Love)? Kelly leant it to me a while back and it’s no exaggeration that it changed my life. Basically, the book’s authors use attachment theory to trace how childhood experiences with your parents (did they give you enough love/attention?) shape your adult dating life. To sum it up, which of these three examples from U of Illinois is closest to how you act in relationships?

  1. I get a bit uncomfortable being close to others; it’s hard to trust them completely or allow myself to depend on them. I feel nervous when anyone gets too close.
  2. It’s fairly easy for me to get close to others, and I’m comfortable when we depend on each other. I don’t worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.
  3. Love interests are reluctant to get as close as I’d like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.

Continue reading “Pitch Perfect and attachment theory”