Update: This is my most-read blog post, so I wrote a follow-up. Big hugs if you’re struggling with trying to get an avoidant to love you. You deserve better! ❤
tl;dr You can’t.
They won’t let you.
You’ll try to get close & it’ll feel like banging your head against a wall.
This reinforces your beliefs of inadequacy. THOSE ARE A LIE. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH JUST AS YOU ARE.